Mango-Avocado Salsa (no tomatoes)

When I think salsa, I automatically think about tomatoes and tortilla chips. But “salsa” is really just a word for “sauce.” They can be chunky or smooth, with or without heat, and use a variety of ingredients. This chunky salsa features mangoes and avocados. The flavour is fresh and bright, creamy and a little bit sweet. Chopped raw shallot adds a spicy little kick at the end. Super easy to make, very nutritious, and perfect for a summer picnic. Goes really well with pork or chicken, too.

Mango Avocado Salsa

• 1 ripe mango, diced
• 2 small avocados, diced
• 1 small shallot, finely chopped
• juice of one lemon
• a little lemon zest
• dash of garlic powder
• S&P to taste
• chopped fresh cilantro

Mix everything together in a bowl. Store leftovers covered in the fridge.

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A run of bad potluck.

Hidden between the pages of every cookbook are recipes that result in spectacular food failures. Sometimes it’s the cook’s fault for deviating from instructions or cutting corners or making unauthorized substitutions. Sometimes, it’s the recipe itself. Perhaps the instructions are unclear or incomplete, or maybe some ingredients should just never come together under any circumstances.

I’ve been scouring through my cookbooks lately looking for tasty treats, and particularly in my older books, I’ve come across some recipes that border on the truly bizarre. Most of them are full of weiners (Corn and Weiner Casserole is sure to be a gastronomic abomination). Maybe someday I’ll compile them all into a grand volume and call it 101 Ways With Weenies. Maybe I can find something better to do.

Thanks to the intertoobs, other curious people have preserved evidence of numerous culinary nightmares perfect for your next sideshow potluck.

• Weight Watcher Recipe Cards: a wretched liver paté, scary Carrie chicken, and cult-quality Inspiration Soup, to name but a few. There’s even a Flickr group documenting actual attempts at recreating some of these inspiring frankenfoods. The crown roast of weiners is quite a centerpiece. This is clear evidence that dieting is very bad for your brain. P.S. There’s also a book available.
• Gallery of Regrettable Food: James Lileks presents excerpts from a vast collection of peculiar old recipe booklets accompanied by witty commentary to offset the depressing torture of  decent food. There’s also a selection of quaint marketing ephemera. P.S. He has a book available, too.
• Cate’s Garage Sale Finds: Cate says, “I love to cook. But I love cookbooks even more, especially if they’re old and filled with recipes for things I’d never want to eat.” That pretty much sums it up. She has an excellent section of gender-specific eating for men. From her main site, you have access to arcane knowledge, ugly crafts, and trashy romance in addition to her blog.