Candy is dandy, but crickets are bugs.

Today, I did a brave and stupid thing. I stopped in our friendly neighbourhood candy store (which was sadly all out of TimTams) and decided to have a bit of a spree for the sake of a good blog. This place carries all kinds of interesting sweets from over the border and across the pond, and their selection varies slightly from time to time. You never know what you’ll come across.

I made a beeline for the American imports right away and picked up the following:

• Popeye “Tasty Candy Sticks“
• Jelly Belly Sours
• Hoffman’s CupoGold
• London Mint chocolates
• Zero Bars (Dark and Milk)
• Pop Rocks Wild Berry
  
• Green & Black’s Dark Chocolate 70%
• Kinder Surprise Chocolate Egg
• Walkers Crispy Duck & Hoisin crisps
• Scorpion Sucker Banana Flavor
• Crick-ettes Bacon & Cheese

When I decided to purchase the box of Crick-ettes, it was all I could do to hold them in my hand. At one point I forgot what I was carrying, and when I looked down and saw their dead buggy faces staring back at me from behind the cellophane, I nearly threw them down and ran screaming out the door. But, I didn’t want to make a scene in the candy shop, so I composed myself. “Stay strong . . . they’re just for pictures. You don’t have to eat them.” Or so I told myself at the moment.

Really, what kind of foodie would I be if I didn’t at least have a wee nibble? Just to educate my taste buds . . . clearly I had  lost my mind. Ginger Man pretty much agreed, but I got him to try a hind leg with me. Perhaps if I had just popped one in whole and crunched it up like a brave girl, the experience might have been more informative, but no, it wasn’t worth it to me. I had a cricket in my hand and a steak in my freezer; the choice was clear. Still, a taste test was in order.

There was sufficient fake bacony cheese dust to impart a flavour of some kind, but the texture completely turned me off. It was like I had just bitten into food and my tongue found an inedible particle, a thing that didn’t belong, and was trying in vain to evict it from my palate. Ptooey sums it up best. I must say, however, the crows were very pleased with the Crick-ettes.

I was quite happy to move on to the badass banana scorpion sucker. There was a whole lotta sugar between me and that critter, so I was game for a lick or two. Examining the little scorpion, delicately preserved in the center of a golden confectionary window made me feel like a paleontologist. At the same time, whatever morbid human curiosity the goodie satisfied, I couldn’t help thinking how many of those little animals had gotten their stingers ripped off and died in a suffocating yellow goo so that geeks like me could throw down some money for a laugh. Curiosity satisfied, that’s the last one I’ll ever buy.

The duck and hoisin chips weren’t half bad. The taste reminded me of brown gravy. The Walkers Crisps company in the UK recently held a contest with 6 new flavours including Crispy Duck & Hoisin, Fish & Chips, Chili & Chocolate, Onion Bhaji, Builder’s Breakfast, and the one I really wish I could have tried: Cajun Squirrel. I don’t usually like weird flavours on chips, but Canadian dill pickle flavoured chips are rather addictive. Salty, vinegary, herby. Ketchup chips aren’t as interesting, but they are kinda tasty. What I really miss are authentic Moore’s Cheesies, which are no longer produced. There is no substitute. I’ve searched everywhere and have yet to find any cheesy poof that comes close. I’m sure they were made out of crap and plastic, but darnit they were yummy! I occasionally miss those phantom childhood tastes. Those things that I haven’t had in forever and I remember them being incredibly delicious beyond imagination, like HoHos and Moon Pies and those six packs of sugary doughunts and YooHoo! Then when I actually get one, it’s inevitably disappointing.  Sometimes the nostalgia factor is enough to make it alright, even if it’s stale and plasticky tasting and nothing like what I remember.

I handed over all the jelly belly sours—Ginger Man’s reward for trying the cricket, and because I love him. He wants me to eat the orange ones, but I like the red ones, and I’m cute, so I get my way. He got the pop rocks, but we split the Kinder egg (he gets the chocolatey outside; I get the toy inside). This time it was a real cutie: a fuzzy green ape! So much better than a dumb robot with weird chicken arms.

The dreamy London Mints are for after dinner for the next couple days, and the “candy sticks” are for whenever I feel like putting my feet up and having a fake smoke, cuz we all know those are candy cigarettes. In order not to start smoking rebelliously the last time I was home for a visit, me and my sisters stopped at every convenience store in the county looking for candy cigs. I went through about a pack of Round Ups a day.

The CupOGold, that’s for a special afternoon with a big ol’ cuppa coffee. Marshmallow and chocolate. Save the best for last.

Daniel Le Chocolat Belge

On an early April foodie safari along Granville Street, I came upon a little chocolate shop, just in time to add a few goodies to my Easter basket. Daniel Le Chocolat Belge had plenty of goodies to choose from. In addition to their regular supply of truffles and molded belgian chocolates in the candy case, there were shelves and displays filled with adoreable bunnies, chickens, and delicious praliné eggs. It was hard to decide what to pick!

I didn’t want to blow my basket budget, so I went with a small box of peanut butter bunnies, four exotic truffles, and a few praliné eggs. I’ve waited ages to break into them, but now I can tell you all about how delicious they are. These are some of the creamiest chocolates I’ve ever had, with gorgeous mouth-feel and flavour. Not grainy in the slightest, not too sweet, and the exotic truffle flavours were fun.

Here’s a rundown of my sampling:

Dark Advocaat Brandy
Lush and velvety smooth

Milk Cinnamon-Nutmeg
Interesting. Snickerdoodley.

Dark Chipotle
Good. Super creamy, not peppery.
Flavour is a little hidden.

Milk Mojito
Excellent! Creamy chocolate with
a fresh hint of mint and lime.

Praliné Eggs
Creamy, crunchy, sweet, delicious.
Milk or dark chocolate with a creamy chocolate filling made with ground caramelized almonds or hazelnuts.

Peanut Butter Bunnies
Melt-in-your-mouth cuteness.

About Daniel’s Divine Chocolates

View Daniel’s Chocolate Map

Daniel Poncelet (Chocolatier) was born and raised in Belgium, where he says “chocolate was an inseparable part of my daily diet. I still remember how good it was to let it melt in my mouth and try to make the piece last as long as possible in order to be the last one in the family still enjoying it.”

He learned his craft from Clovis Harmegnie, “an exceptionally passionate Belgian master chocolatier,” and grew to appreciate not only the art of making chocolates but also fine quality ingredients. According to Daniel, this inspired his determination to create chocolates “without compromise, with zealous adherence to purity.”

Daniel uses only 100% natural ingredients to make chocolates that are preservative free with no artificial colorings and flavors and no hydrogenated oils or tropical fats.Daniel sources premium chocolate from world renowned chocolate manufacturer, Barry Callebaut. Callebaut’s chocolate heritage spans more than 120 years, and the company actively supports cocoa farmers and communities as part of its commitment to maintaining a sustainable cocoa industry.

Daniel’s Belgian Chocolates is located at 2820 Granville St. Vancouver, BC with additional locations in Metro Vancouver and Toronto as well as an online shop.

A tisket, a tasket, what’s in your Easter basket?

Easter Sunday (April 12, 2009) is this weekend. It’s a time for remembrance, repentance, resurrection, communion, and CANDY! Secularizing holy days into Holidays is the best thing American capitalists ever did for the chocolate industry.

Respect to religion, but lets talk about the basket. Mommy Dearest would set up Easter baskets well ahead of time, tantalizing us for weeks while our Peeps went stale (not that it mattered) and those cheap-ass jelly beans turned rock hard. To make it worse, the baskets were wrapped in multiple layers of clear Saran Wrap so we could see everything, touch nothing, and be sufficiently tempted.

Important Easter Tip: When breaking into an Easter basket, cover your tracks. Do not leave a hole that shows, and above all do not leave chocolate fingerprints.

Easter Bunny

After weeks of temptation and attempted basket burglary, we’d put on our Sunday Go-To-Meetin’ clothes (including the itchy white lace ankle socks and a pair of too-tight black patent Mary Janes) and do our hair up in ribbons and sit in our regular church pew trying to tune out the hellfire and brimstone rendition of our Lord & Saviour’s crucifiction and resurrection until the wine and wafers came around. Then, after a little nosh, it was time to shake the preacher’s hand and hightail it home to the egg hunt (providing no one was getting baptized).

We’d color eggs and make a big mess, then Daddy would go hide the eggs in the yard and my dog Patches followed him around, eating them. Then the kids would rush outside screeching and laughing with baskets in hand, frantically scouring one grass patch and underbush after another. Kids take egg hunting very seriously. I’ve seen deadly hair-pulling and UFC-quality kindergarten takedowns all because somebody saw the glitter egg first. I played it safe and followed the dog, collecting all the half-eaten eggs . . . they still count!

Once the fights were over and the eggs had been tallied, we’d retire to a quiet corner and rip into those tantalizing treasure baskets, pink ribbons and easter grass flying. Oh, thou hollow chocolate bunny with the big long ears, I shall save you for last. You and your sweet candy eyes. First, we have to get rid of those black jelly beans (it was not  unusual for me to sneak in and remove all the black beans I could find, replacing them with cherry and lemon beans I stole from other baskets . . . it’s okay, I gave them all my black ones, so we’re even).

For the second course: Peeps, heads first. If no one dropped into a sugar coma at this point, it was probably time for Easter supper. Mommy Dearest would usually cook a ham, glazing with honey mustard and decorating with pineapple rings and cloves. I know, it sounds good, but after 24 hours in the oven, it gets a wee bit dessicated. Thank God for Easter hot dogs on the grill.

Once I left home, there were no more Easter hams or Easter baskets for me—until I started making my own (baskets, not ham). It just doesn’t seem right to have Easter without a basket. This year, I have a very tiny basket, so the candy has accumulated all around it, and I haven’t touched a thing. Come Sunday afternoon, that’s gonna change.

Easter Basket Essentials

• Basket: any size, any kind
• Grass: raffia, plastic, or real
• Ribbons: for decorating the bunnies and basket
• Jelly Beans: to lose in the grass and find next year
• Peeps: Yellow Chicks and Pink Bunnies
• Chocolate Bunny: Any kind, must have long cute ears
• Assorted Candy: Any kind, lots of chocolate
• Toy Bunny: fuzzy and cute
• A Prize: This year, it’s a book by Robert Rankin called The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse and a DVD of Wallace & Gromit’s Curse of the Were-Rabbit

Leaving a comment? I’m curious: What’s in your Easter basket?

S’mores + Peeps = Smeeps!

Pretty peeps all in a row.

Easter is hopping right around the corner, and marshmallow Peeps are popping up on store shelves everywhere. They are certainly an essential part of my annual Easter basket.

I love Peeps. All the fun of a marshmallow with a vibrant sugar coating. I bite their heads off . . . so they don’t suffer. Okay, really so I don’t have to look them in their little candy eyes. Exactly the opposite of how I consume a chocolate bunny. I don’t know why that is.

Peeps are best fresh out of a brand new package, but don’t think I won’t eat them a little stale and chewy. It also didn’t take long for me to figure out what would happen if you put one in the microwave. Try that on some ice cream or a brownie . . . or both. Have mercy!

Then one day, Easter came around and Peeps were once again plentiful. The weather was becoming fine and clear where I lived at the time, and I was buying groceries for a lovely weekend for camping. Of course, where there’s a campfire, there must be marshmallows, and where there are marshmallows, chocolate and graham crackers cannot be far away. I thought to myself, “Self, what do you reckon would happen if we stuck one of them there Peeps on a stick and roasted him over the fire?” *DING-DING-DING*

I had to run a few tests right away. Microwave heat is very different that fire heat (which is much less predictable, to boot). I no longer had a gas stove (sigh), so I fired up the electric burner and contemplated the possible outcomes as I poked a long-handled fork into a marshmallow chicken. What would happen to that sugar coating? I silently prayed for carmelization.

Carefully, I positioned my peep for maximal even heat, rotating it slowly and watching for the slightest change in color or shape. The chick began to expand. It rapidly became lopsided, threatening to droop off my fork, but years of marshmallow toasting had provided enough skill to regain control just as the yellow sugar coating began to brown.  Oh here we go . . . carmelize, you beautiful marshmallow. A bit of color here, a bit of color there, and away you go. Once off the heat, the sugar coating began to harden slightly . . . like the top of a creme brulee.

Perfectly toasted.

I have to say, this is one of my most favouritest ways to eat a Peep. The outside is crispy, the inside is melty, and it takes on a whole new flavour.

CAUTION: Count to 10 before you try to eat the Peep or you will burn your mouth. Caramelized sugar is VERY HOT but will cool off quickly.

You can make a s’more with these guys, just as you would with a regular marshmallow: sandwich the toasted Peep between two graham crackers with a piece of chocolate. However, I often prefer to toast them under the oven broiler to and serve them open-faced. They are also exquisite with a little peanut butter.

How to Make a Smeep:

1. 

   S'more + Peep = Smeep!

   For each serving, place a graham cracker on a cookie sheet.

2. Top each graham cracker with a square of chocolate (milk or dark) and a marshmallow Peep (bunny peeps work great for this because they are flat and brown more evenly).
3. Place under a broiler for a few minutes until the chocolate softens and the top of the Peeps are slightly browned and carmelized.
4. Cool slightly before eating.

Can’t get enough Peeps?

• Make your own Peeps! How-to at Twig & Thistle.
• Washington Post’s Peep Diorama Contest (2009)
• WP’s Peep Show II: Diorama Contest winners from 2008
• WP’s Peep Show I: Diorama Contest winners from 2007
• Peeps-Tastic! photo group on Flickr
• Peeps Diorama Slideshow at Asylum.com
• The official Peeps website

Old-Fashioned Peanut Butter Pinwheels

Creamy and Sweet

I’ve been on a sugar kick lately, and for whatever reason these nostalgic treats kept popping into my mind. They were extremely popular where I grew up and often graced the child’s-eye-level shelf at our local store bakeries. One version of the recipe uses cold mashed potatoes in the sugar dough, and at first, I was bent on making potato candy . . . then my sister talked some sense into me. You can indeed use plain leftover potatoes, but according to Sissy, the result can be unpleasantly grainy and not as tasty.

Half a batch provided plenty of candy for our house. If you’re having a bake sale or a party, simply double the ingredients for a super-size batch. The dough comes together very easily in a stand mixer, but a wooden spoon and a bowl will work just fine (be sure to knead the dough).

The dough is quite easy to handle. It also has plenty of sugar, so I reccommend using a fresh ground nut butter or a natural variety like Adams. The distinct lack of sugar in the nut butter provides a welcome contrast to the creamy, sweet dough. I initially used 1 cup of creamy cashew-peanut butter (so yummy) with no sugar added, but I think that wasn’t quite enough, so I suggest at least 1 1/2 cups in the recipe.

Sissy’s Peanut Butter Pinwheels

• 1lb powdered sugar (3 3/4 cups)
• 1 stick butter (1/2 cup) melted and cooled
• 2 tsp vanilla extract
• 3 tbs heavy cream
• good quality peanut butter (about 1 1/2 cups) room temp

Mix sugar, butter, and vanilla. Add cream slowly (1 Tbs at a time) until a dough forms.

Knead on board covered with powdered sugar at least 5 minutes. It should be nice and smooth. Divide in half. Roll out between two sheets of plastic wrap.

Remove top sheet of plastic. Spread dough with Peanut Butter. Roll up jelly-roll style.

Cover with plastic wrap. Chill until firm.

Use a sharp, clean knife to cut 1/4″ slices.

Keep this candy refrigerated . . . I keep it wrapped and just cut off a slice when I want a fix. I don’t know how well it freezes because it never stays around that long.

8)

A cup of Canadian Comfort.

No, this post is not about soup. It’s about booze. It’s rainy and grey today, typical weather in the Pacific Northwest. One of my cats isn’t eating. I’ve offered him everything, pretty much any time he acts the least bit hungry. He doesn’t even want his Greenies, and those are pretty much Kitty Crack Treats. It’s making me fret.

Mr. B has been with me for almost 11 years, and he’s starting to feel his age. He moves a little slower, and he’s not as bulky as he used to be, and he’s kinda cranky sometimes. His kidneys aren’t 100%, but he’s doing alright with supplements and a lower protien diet. Unfortunately, if he doesn’t eat, he won’t get his supplements. I’ve had him on fluids for several days, as he wasn’t drinking much either. He seems perky enough, and definitely interested in the idea of food, but other than a few licks of the gravy from his favourite Friskies kitty junk food, he just doesn’t care.

Mr. B on the fuzzy blankey.

His regular vet is excruciatingly expensive, and I’m not convinced they are giving him the kind of care that best suits him (and me). I’m picky about vets because I spent 8 years working as a tech. The place he goes now, they have five doctors, a big staff, night nurses, on-site blood analysis, an excellent surgical facility, and all the bells and whistles a modern vet needs. They are friendly and intelligent folks who genuinely care about animals. I even did some volunteer work with them for a while. It’s the little things, like not bothering to look in his mouth or palpate his abdomen, that bother me . . . and the bland attitude of their receptionist . . . and the tendency to jump on procedures and tests before they get the whole story. Okay, maybe it’s added up to a bit of annoyance for me.

Point is, I decided to try a holistic vet who makes housecalls. I doubt there will be a difference in cost, really, but I’m looking for a difference in service. I think Mr. B needs to be evaluated from a new perspective. For that matter, so do I. My neck is killing me (note to self: stop slouching!).

At any rate, it’s been one of those kinda days. So, I offer unto those that need it, a healthy dose of Canadian Comfort: 1 shot of Canadian whiskey, 1 shot of Bailey’s Irish Cream, and three shots of chocky moo (otherwise known as chocolate milk). I think I’ll wash mine down with a Guinness cupcake.

Guinness Chocolate Cupcakes and Whiskey Truffles

Edible "car bombs" will blow up your taste buds.

When I bring my cupcakes to the yard, all the ginger boys scream “Erin go bragh!”

A hint of beer, boozey and sweet, like an Irish lover’s kiss. These cupcakes are truly scrumptious. This recipe makes 24 cupcakes with enough leftover ganache, frosting, and cupcake middles to make a little plate of truffles.

This is not an ordinary cupcake recipe, and it’s definitely not for kids. The recipe is decadent and very rich (using real butter, heavy cream, and three kinds of alcoholic beverage). It also takes time to prepare and involves quite a few steps, but the reward is worth the effort.

The flavours are inspired by a pub concoction called an “Irish Car Bomb” (careful where you order these, or you could get a poke in the puss). It’s a type of boilermaker: a shot glass full of Jameson’s and Bailey’s gets dropped in a pint of Guinness, then you have to chug it down before the Bailey’s curdles and you end up drinking cheese. Ew. Trust me, the cupcake version is much better.

Hand out a few of  these decadent and delicious goodies and people will say the most wonderful things, like “You’re a genius! I love you! Marry me.”

Caution: Because of the complexity of this recipe, try to resist the temptation to finish off the extra beer or nip the wiskey while you cook. You could end up half in the bag and pass out in a pool of ganache . . . not that that has ever happened to me. *hic*

How To Streamline The Process:

1. Read the recipe through several times.
2. Make sure you have all the ingredients and equipment you need.
3. Make room in the kitchen and set up cupcake pans and piping bags.
4. Chop the chocolate and let the butter come to room temperature.
5. Make the cocoa beer butter, then preheat the oven.
6. While the beer butter cools and the oven heats, start making the cupcake batter.
7. While the cupcakes are baking, start making the ganache.
8. While the ganache and cupcakes are cooling, make the frosting.
9. Set up an assembly line for excavating, frosting, and filling the cupcakes.
10. Clean up as you go, be patient, and take your time.

Special Techniques

Making Ganache

• Ganache is the heavenly union of chocolate and cream (and usually flavouring—in this case, whiskey). Heated cream meets chopped chocolate, then gets stirred until smooth and thick. In this recipe, thickened ganache is piped into hollowed out cupcakes. Once it cools, it will set to a fudgy consistency.
• Ganache changes if you alter the temperature or the proportion of chocolate to cream.
  • Increase cream / decrease chocolate = lighter and thinner ganache (good for pouring)
  • Increase chocolate / decrease cream = thicker and stiffer ganache (good for truffles)
  • Heat ganache to thin it. Cool ganache to thicken it.

• Beating the ganache too much can make it grainy. To learn more about ganache, including how to smooth out a grainy mistake read on at The Global Gourmet.

Using a Pastry Bag

• Fit a pastry tip and coupler inside the bag, screw on the outer collar, then fill the bag about 1/2 full. Twist the end of the bag to seal it shut and push the filling forward to the tip. Hold the twisted end in your right hand and squeeze to control the flow. Direct the tip of the pastry bag with your left hand.
• If you don’t have a pastry bag, you can improvise with a Ziplock baggie. Fill the baggie about 1/2 full with icing or ganache, seal it by twisting, then snip off the corner tip and start piping. You can also make a simple piping bag with a piece of parchment paper. Watch Liv Hansen’s video to learn how!
• Pretty piping takes practice. If you’re new to the idea, experiment on a clean plate or a piece of parchment paper and start with simple designs like swirls, dots, lines, or stars.

The Recipes

You can find the original recipe @ Smitten Kitchen. Thanks to Sassy Radish and Bruce who turned me on to the idea. My version below uses the maximum amount of booze, and I added a bit of vanilla to the ganache to balance the flavour a bit. I used two kinds of dark chocolate (Cote d’Or Belgian 70% cocoa and Alprose Swiss 74% cocoa). In metric Canada, two 100 gram bars = about 7 oz of chocolate, slightly less than other recipe versions, but the end result was fine. I also took the trouble to sift the flour, cocoa powder, and icing sugar before using it, to prevent lumps. I used Canadian Club whiskey, as my bottle of Jameson’s was dry. *hic*

Guinness Chocolate Cupcakes with Whiskey Truffle Filling and Bailey’s Frosting

Make the chocolate beer butter.

Can I get a Hail Mary?

• Over low heat, melt 1 cup unsalted butter in 1 cup Guinness (room temp).
• Remove from heat and blend in 3/4 cup cocoa powder.
• Allow to cool slightly.

Mix the cupcakes.

• Combine 2 cups all purpose flour, 2 cups granulated sugar, 1 1/2 tsp baking soda, and 3/4 tsp salt.
• In separate bowl, mix 2 eggs with 2/3 cup sour cream.
• Slowly add cocolate beer butter to egg mixture, blending well.
• Gently stir in flour mixture until combined.

Bake and cool.

• Spoon batter into cupcake pan (fill each liner about 2/3 full).
• Bake in a preheated 350° oven for 17 minutes.
• Cool cupcakes completely before excavating.

Make the whiskey ganache.

• Put 7 oz (200gm) chopped bittersweet chocolate into a heatproof bowl.
• Heat 2/3 cup heavy whipping cream to a simmer.
• Pour hot cream over chocolate and DO NOT STIR.
• Let it sit and melt for a couple of minutes, then stir the ganache until smooth.
• Add 2 Tbs unsalted butter (room temp), 1 tsp vanilla extract, and 2 tsp whiskey.
• Let it cool until it thickens enough for piping.
• Spoon ganache into piping bag (I didn’t bother using a tip for filling the cupcakes).
• Reserve about 1/2 cup of ganache for the truffles.

Excavate the cupcakes.

• Using a grapefruit spoon or apple corer, dig a small hole in the top of each cupcake. Do not dig through the bottom.
• Reserve excavated cupcake “dirt” for making truffles.

Make the frosting.

Very Irish Creamy.

• Using an electric mixer, whip 1/2 cup unsalted butter (= one stick) at room temp.
• Gradually add 3 cups sifted confectioner’s sugar (about 1/2 cup at a time) and 4 Tbs Bailey’s Irish Cream (about 1 Tbs at a time). Beat well after each addition.
• Spoon frosting into a piping bag fitted with a decorative tip (I used a star tip).
• Save a small amount of frosting to decorate the truffles.

Assemble the cupcakes.

Ready to fill and frost.

• Fill each excavated cupcake with a generous blob of ganache. Smooth the top flat if needed.
• Decorate with Bailey’s frosting (a little goes a long way; it’s very sweet). Top with sprinkles if you want.

Storing the cupcakes:

• Refrigerate filled (or filled and frosted) cupcakes uncovered ~ 1 hour.
• Wrap individual cupcakes in cling wrap or pack sets in airtight containers. Store in fridge or freezer. Thaw to room temp before serving, if you can wait that long.

Irish Screams

They go oooh aaaah wooo!

• Mix leftover whiskey ganache with the excavated cupcake dirt.
• Chill.
• Roll into little balls.
• Decorate with leftover Bailey’s frosting and green sprinkles.
• Praise the Lord.